Ok…i have identity issues…?????!?!?!?!?!?!? really…help me!?

ok so heres a funny story…well i thought i was santa clause and well i was going to deliver presents when i forgot im extremely claustrophobic (no pun intended with the whole santa clause thing) and…well i got stuck in the chimney…ya so thats not workin out so good. and i cant tell the people that im stuck in their portal that relieves the fireplace of smoke cuz well…cuz i dont think someone rlly wants to wake up with some girl stuck in their chimney saying shes santa (i dont know about you but thats not my kind of "good morning!") so well can u help me?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!